How do we properly love our neighbor when we love ourselves more?

If you are like St. Thérèse of Lisieux, you relish loving God in the challenge of loving those that irritate you. You seek little ways that diminish the self and instead expand God. It works. Many saints are formed along the Little Way but in my opinion, this path takes a strapping, focused and independent soul. Therese called herself weak, but in her Story of a Soul you learn she is anything but; possessing a competitive spirit (even though the contest was against herself) that would win gold medals in any tournament.

These adjectives do not describe Mary Magdalens. We shun challenge. We are clingy, selfish, jealous and lazy but that does not mean we don’t share with St. Thérèse her Vocation to Love. 

We just have to find another ‘way.’

Because He scooped us up from despair, rescuing us from our damaging choices and pathetic selves, we love Jesus with a passionate, extravagant, constant and aching love. We know we cannot do anything without Him and no longer desire to live a life except as close to Him as possible. We need Him every minute of every day and cling to Him no matter what.

Our jealous nature takes many hours learning at Jesus’ feet to travel from knowledge to acceptance that His loving everyone else in no way takes away His intense and unconditional love for us. As we grow in spiritual maturity we discover that in fact, we can increase His Love in us by joining Him in loving others.  Our way is never about denying ourselves. The mere thought makes us shudder. Rather, we allow Jesus to clear everything away so He can fill us to the brim.

Jesus draws all those around us without ever turning His gaze from us. 

He makes it easy to choose to love our neighbor because Jesus loves our neighbor and we love what He loves.  We bring souls as gifts to Him so that He will be happy and that makes us happy. We can reassure ourselves that, “Yes, I know it is no longer about me, but His never ending mercy and kindness is for me so I no longer mind that others are included.”

And though it will always pull at us just a little to hear another speak of their intense love for Jesus secretly boasting to ourselves, “No one can love Him as much as I do,” we realize their testimony is bringing a smile to His Face and so we affirm, support and encourage secure in His all-consuming love for us.