Seized by Christ

Weary, limping, drained of energy, I fall into a clump on my bedroom floor. Tears flow but soon even they become too exhausting. I am spent. I don’t know how long I continue to lie there; no thought, no word, nothing is left.

Then, I hear them. They are coming for me.

For years they have stalked me. Their snarling whispers and laughter at every stumble have been my companions for as long as I can remember. They have been waiting for their prey to give up the fight and are giddy with excitement that today is the day.  I feel a tug at my ankles and slowly feel them dragging me closer to the edge.  I try to resist but am just too weak. 

A fire begins to flicker deep inside of me.  Where is it coming from?

Is it something beyond dread creeping up to the surface to stake its claim or something else altogether; a strategically placed trigger being tripped just in time? Whatever the source, it is ugly in its anger yet desperate in its plea as it escapes my lips, “I give up. What do you want from me? I am so tired. You just have to take over because I cannot do this by myself anymore. If you don't show up, I am finished trying!"

Images begin to appear; memories offered randomly. A question forms in my brain, “What is this?” Then swiftly I am caught up into two strong arms and held tightly. Like a corpse being hidden in a blanket, I am wrapped in a thick, warm covering that pins my loneliness and imprisons my despair. My Captor whispers in words so piercing they cut right into my heart, “You are exactly who I created you to be. I love you. I promise you will never feel alone again. I am with you always.”

I have been seized by Christ.

Peace is the blanket that comforts me and Love is the Stranger who has clutched me from the pull of the abyss. I hear the snarling, drooling complaints from the edge. They have worked so hard and for so long to just give up and let their prey be taken without a fuss. Surely they know they are no match for my Liberator, but I cannot blame them.  With an eternity of suffering, even just the brief second of victory in capturing a soul from God must be a relief worth pursuing.   

My Rescuer looks away from me for only an instance to face my enemies. He looks them directly in the eye and with a fearsome sound that shakes the ground He speaks, “She has chosen Me, now Go!”

And like St. Mary Magdalene before me, my demons flee trembling.